Godfather
by Son Of Evil
Summary: 17 years ago Spike saved a woman from rape. Now she has bone cancer and Spike has to care for her 5 year old son, William.
1. How it began

A/N: This is set in season six. I need Spike to be soulless for this. I know some people will think it's ridiculous that Spike would care about a rape, but I need him too for the story to take place. And just look how he was when he tried to rape Buffy. And, in season two, the Judge did say that he reeked of humanity.  
  
Godfather  
  
By  
  
Son Of Evil  
  
Seventeen years ago.  
  
"Look at the stars. Their very bright tonight."  
  
"We're inside, pet. You can't see the stars."  
  
She smiled wickedly at me. "I can always see the stars Spikey."  
  
"If you say so luv."  
  
"Spike, I'm hungry."  
  
I got up and walked over to her. Then I bent down and kissed her forehead. "Guess I'll just have to go out and you something then."  
  
She reached up and stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes and leant into it. After a moment I opened them and looked at her. "Hurry back," she whispered.  
  
I smiled. "Always."  
  
I backed away slowly, and her hand slid away from my face. Her nails scraped my skin and drew blood. She brought her fingers to her lips and licked it off. I turned and headed towards the door of the warehouse. It wasn't a bad place really. There were a few squatters when we found it, but we soon cleared them out. As I headed towards the door, I thought about Dru's nails. They were hard as rock, and as sharp as razor. Maybe I should call them claws? Naw, I'll just stick with nails. All vampires' nails were like that. I wondered weather or not to grow mine like that. They'd be a good weapon, especially against the Slayer. Might even save my life. Naw. Wouldn't look good on me.  
  
I walked out the door, out into New York City. This was a bad part of town. No one was around. I walked for about twenty minutes, then I got to a street and I was suddenly surrounded by crowds of people out for a night on the town. I smiled. I couldn't help it. With a few annoying exceptions, this was a perfect world for vampires', and every other type of nasty. We could literally get away with murder. My smile turned into a grin. After all, who'd suspected vampires or demons? We don't exist. I walked down the street smiling.  
  
The people avoided me. I was dressed like a punk who'd slit his own mother's throat for an out of date, mouldy old chocolate bar.  
  
I lid a cigarette, took a deep breath, and casually leaned againsed the wall, scanning the crowd for a decent meal. I spotted a young couple, early twenties, heading down an ally. Perfect. The girl was gorgeous. I'd enjoy drinking her dry. The bloke wasn't too bad either. Dru'd like 'im. I pushed away from the wall and swaggered towards the ally. I reached the entrance, and saw them round a corner. It wasn't that far away. I reached it in just over a second. There. I switched to game face and was about to attack them, when I had a thought.  
  
I'd play with them for a bit first. Might be fun. I switched to human, and walked towards them.  
  
That's when I caught it! A sent in the air. Nervousness. Hostility. Fear. And lust.  
  
I realised what was happening. Or at least, what was going to happen. A rape!  
  
I had to stop it. I raced up a fire escape, and took to the rooftops. I leaped from rooftop to rooftop, searching for the source to the smell(s).  
  
While I was looking, it crossed my mind how stupid this was. I, Spike, William the Bloody, had slaughtered half of Europe. I've killed thousands, for cryin' out loud! Most times it was quick but sometimes it was a very slow, very painful death. And I enjoyed it. But killing was one think. This.this was a whole different kind of evil. This was a violation!  
  
I stood still, and tried to pick up the sent, when I heard a scream. I raced towards it.  
  
I landed on a rooftop and looked down into the ally below. There was a terrified girl of about nineteen, and an ugly guy in his late thirties, early forty's. The girl had tears streaming down her face, and the man was grinning. The girl was wearing a cut-off T-shirt and a shortish skirt. She looked sexy, not sluty, but stylish. The bloke had her underwear halfway down her legs, and from the way his arm was moving, he was probably fingering her.  
  
"OI!" I yelled. The man snapped his head around, and looked up at me. He leapt to his feet and began to run. I leapt and landed in front of him. It was a three storie drop. Easy for a vamp like me. The guy, though, his eyes praticly popped out of their sockets. "How the."  
  
He didn't get to finish, because I had my fist wrapped around his throat. I lifted him off his feet, and pulled his face to mine, till we were only about an inch apart. Then I went into vampire mode.  
  
The guy froze. He even stopped breathing. He had a look of pure terror on his face. "Whu.wha." I threw him into a wall. He got up and pulled out a knife. I didn't flinch. "Aaghhh!" He yelled, lunging at me.  
  
Too slow. I batted him away. He lunged at me again, and this time I let him hit me. He plunged the knife into my chest, and jumped back. I just stood there and grinned.  
  
He froze. I think he was trying not to wet himself. I pulled the knife out. I did it slowly, not letting him miss anything. Then I let lose a growl and took a step towards him. "You.you're not human."  
  
I curled my lip up and snarled, letting him get a first class view of my fangs. He whimpered. "Bingo, genius." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're a regular Altburt bloody Einstein, aren't you?"  
  
I was still holding his knife. I walked slowly towards him, blade raised. It was predator walk. A walk to freeze peoples' souls with absolute terror. A walk I'd practised to perfection. "P-please," he begged. "I-I'll do anyth- thing you want. J-just don't h-hurt m-me. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"  
  
I backed him up into a wall. "Anything I want?" I asked softly. I used the knife a cut a thin line on his face. It went from his eye to his jaw.  
  
"Anything."  
  
I let the knife drop, and licked the blood off him. "I want to kill you." Tears streamed down his face. His legs gave out on him. I bent down, ready to bite him, when I heard whimpering. I looked up, and noticed the girl. Her eyes were wide, her breathing was coming out in short gasps, and she was obviously terrified.  
  
"Oh bollocks," I cursed softly. My human face slipped through, and I walked towards her as non-threateningly as I could. "Hey, hey," I said soothingly. "Shhh. Don't worry. I won't hurt you."  
  
She looked up at me, eyes filled with fear. "Wh.what." She stuttered. She took a deep breath, and tried again. "W-wh.what the hell are you?"  
  
I crouched slowly in front of her. "Vampire," I said softly. "I'm a vampire luv."  
  
The fear was back in her eyes. "I d-don't believe you. You're some k-k-kind of n-nut case."  
  
I smirked. I couldn't help it. "Luv, I just jumped off a three store building, got yellow eyes and sprouted fangs." I noticed a tiny silver cross hanging around her neck. "Need more proof?" I cupped the chain and rested the cross on the palm of my hand, and put my hand flat so she could see. The cross burned me so bad my flesh smoked. Smelled like bacon.  
  
"Oh my God," she breathed. She glanced over my shoulder. "Look out!" She yelled.  
  
I whipped around. The guy had picked up his knife, and was running at me. "I'll sent you to the devil!" He yelled.  
  
He brought the knife down. My hand shot up. I gripped his wrist and squeezed, shattering his bones.  
  
"The devil?" I laughed. "I AM THE DEVIL!!!!" I mixed that last part with a demon roar, and vamped out at the same time. The result? Do I even have to say it? And this time he did piss himself.  
  
I grabbed his throat and looked at the girl. "So, wadda you think I should do with him?" I asked, sounding casual.  
  
"I.I." She stuttered.  
  
"Bearing in mind he just tried to rape you."  
  
Her eyes narrowed, and her expression hardened. When she answered her voice was cold. It had no emotion. "Drain the basted dry."  
  
I grinned. "You're wish is my command."  
  
"NO!" The guy yelled.  
  
I ignored him. I put my hand over his mouth to muffle the screams, and bit him. He struggled like a mad man at first, but he soon stopped. After about another three minutes, I'd finished. I let his body fall to the ground.  
  
"Wow," the girl whispered. She walked towards me slowly, like she expected him to jump up and attack her. "Is he gonna.um.y'know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is he gonna.umm.is he gonna become a vampire now?"  
  
I shook my head. "No. He'd only able to become a vampire if he drunk my blood after I'd fed on him."  
  
"Oh. Cool." She looked up at me. "What now?"  
  
"Can you walk? I saw you limping."  
  
She shook her head. "I won't be able to make it home on my own. Could you." She shifted uncomfortably. "Could you help me? Please?"  
  
My eyebrows raised in supprise. I wasn't used to humans trusting me. I didn't know weather to call her brave or stupid. Well, I did save her. Probably doesn't know about the whole 'you become a vampire, you lose your soul' thing.  
  
I nodded. "Here, lean on me."  
  
"Thanks." She rested her weigh on me, and let out a relived sigh.  
  
"Which way do you live?"  
  
"That way," she said pointing.  
  
We started walking. "Didn't catch your name duck."  
  
She laughed. "Duck?"  
  
"Just answer the bloody question!"  
  
"Amander. Amander Jennings. You?"  
  
"I'm Spike."  
  
She cocked an eyebrow. "Spike? How'd you get a name like that?"  
  
"Well y'see, when I was human some people picked on me a lot. So, when I first arose as a vampire." As I told her the story of how I'd got my named, I remembered something. Dru! I didn't get her anything. She's gonna be pissed. Oh balls!  
  
You like? Hope so. Next chap we're in good ol' Sunnydale! REVIEW!!!! Please? 


	2. Don't go

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! Anyway, you know that episode where Warren killed his old girlfriend and made Buffy think she did it? This fic picks up in that alley at the police station when Spike tries to convince her not to confess and Buffy beats the shit out of him. Enjoy!  
  
Godfather – Chapter Two  
  
Sunnydale – Present Day  
  
Pain. All I felt was pain. The blows kept coming. My face automatically went from vampire too human. It was a survival instinct. Surrender. The blows kept coming.  
  
She's shouting at me. What's she saying? "There is nothing good or pure in you!" She's near hysterical. I can hear it in her voice. "You don't have a soul!" I know. But I still love you. "I could never be your girl!"  
  
The blows are starting to lessen. Yes. Thank you. Wait. If she stops she confess to the police about killing that girl. If she does that, she'll go to jail. I've got to make her stay. I wonder if vampires can be beaten to death? I feel like I'm about to find out. It doesn't matter. SHE matters. How can I make her stay? Wait! I know. I'll anger her. Make her so intent on beating me she'll forget about confessing.  
  
"You always hurt the one's you love pet." She hit me again. It worked. But what's happening? The blows have stopped. I tried to focus. She's getting up. No! I call out to her desperately. "Buffy!" I try to reach out to her, to stop her. She ignores me. Please don't go. I need you. She rounds the corner. I hear the door open. I can't help picturing her shrivelled up in some tiny cell, forever lost to me. I tried. I tried so hard. She still went.  
  
I can't stop the tears from falling.  
  
A/N: I know I'm taking it slow, sorry. But I hope this'll do till I get some good ideas. 


	3. All for nothing

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. Special thanks to Cordeia_lolly, Ragemoon, and buffspike. Not only did they read chap 1, they even came back for chap 2! Thanks so much. Spike fans may enjoy a poem I wrote about the Big Bad called Love Is Dead. Check it out if you want. ON TO THE STORY!!!!!!!  
  
Godfather – Chapter Three  
  
I heard the police station door open again and tried to get out of sight. I cried out in pain. I couldn't move. I heard footsteps approaching the head of the alley and looked up cautiously. Buffy! She hadn't confessed. She looked at me and our eyes locked. An emotion I couldn't read flashed across her face for a split second. Then she turned and walked away. After a few seconds I heard her break into a run. I'm amazed I can hear anything at all over the pounding in my head and the ringing in my ears.  
  
After a few minutes I had enough strength to crawl into the darkness. Like a chameleon, my body blended into the darkness, the demon blood in me using my body's magic to wrap the shadows around me. It's amazing what you can do if you're a vampire. Being a supernatural creature, in other words a magical being, really does have its benefits.  
  
After about half an hour rats started to crawl up to me, and on me. One crawled onto my face and bit my tongue. 'Going for the juicy bit ay mate?' I though. The rat stuck his entire head in my mouth, trying to rip my tongue out and scamper off before his brothers and sisters could get a chance.  
  
To the rat's annoyance, he couldn't rip my tongue out. He crawled into my mouth to gnaw at the roots. Nearly half his body is now in my mouth. I can feel his teeth biting my tongue franticly.  
  
Without thinking I vamped and bit the rat. He squeaked in terror then went limp as his spine was shattered. The chip shocked me for hurting a living creature that wasn't some kind of demon, but it didn't make a difference. My mind didn't care either way, but my body did. Survival is the strongest instinct in any creature. Even the dead want to continue their existence.  
  
The blood flowed into my mouth and spilled down my chin. I swallowed greedily, then spat it out. 'I will not lower myself anymore than I already have by eating rats!' I though, furious at myself. 'I won't become anymore like that bastard Angel! I won't!'  
  
But it was so good. It's been over two years since I've tasted hot, fresh blood. No! I refuse to do it. I growled angrily and forced my batted body to stand. The rats had scampered off and gone into hiding. Good.  
  
I staggered out of the alley like a homeless drunk, and somehow made it home. Luckily no one who might have a grudge against me, which is practically every demon in town, saw me. I just wanted to crawl into my bed, sleep, and never wake up. But I knew I couldn't, not yet. I stumbled over to the fridge and drained seven packets of blood. They were cold and stale, but they were better than nothing. And rats. Finally, I went to bed.  
  
As I lay there, I wondered why Buffy decided not to confess. I knew it wasn't because of me. I'd let her beat me for nothing. In that alley, I was scared I was going to die. I didn't even realise it until now. I thought she was going to kill me. It's been a long time since I was truly afraid for my life. Bitch. But even after all that, my feelings for her haven't changed. I still love her. My last thought, before falling into a troubled sleep, was 'Spike, you are such a fucking idiot.' 


	4. Relationship issues

A/N: Ragemoon, I keep trying to do a lot of detail for you. But you keep saying you want more. How the fuck can I do anymore? Help me out here luv, cos I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've tried really hard to have LOTS of detail in this chapter for you. If you don't think it's enough, can you suggest how I can do more? Cos I really don't think I can without making the reader fall asleep. Anyway, I tried really hard for you this time. Hope you enjoy.  
  
Godfather – Chapter Four  
  
Sunset Cemetery – Five nights later  
  
It was a cold night. Well, cold compared to what Sunnydale weather is usually like. My eyes scanned the cemetery looking for threats. Buffy walked by my side, determinedly ignoring me. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know what to say. When then person you love most in the world beats you nearly unconscious and leaves you to suffer in a rat infested alley, what can you say?  
  
I couldn't take it anymore. The silence way eating away at me. But what to say? "So why didn't you confess?" She visibly tensed.  
  
"That's none of your business," she replied coldly.  
  
"Oh, I think it is." My voice was cold as ice.  
  
She whirled around angrily. I stood there unmoving. Her eyes flicked over the still visible bruises and the still swollen black eye she gave me and I saw her falter. "Take a good look Slayer," I hissed.  
  
She glared at me, angry again. "You brought that on yourself," she spat.  
  
I gave a dry laugh. "Oh yeah. Course I did." Then I went into a mocking high-pitched tone. "Please, oh please Buffy. Please please beat the bloody shit out of me. Please leave me in a filthy alley an hour and a half from sunset, when, thanks to you, I can barley walk. Oh, please, pretty please, will you make me an easy target for anyone in this town with a grudge against me?" I glared at her. "Which, by the way, is almost every demon in town."  
  
This time when I spoke my voice was laced with venom. "You wouldn't have even cared, would you? If I got dusted, you and Harris would probably throw a party. The only thing you'd feel sorry for is the loss of your walking punch bag and dildo."  
  
She looked ready to punch me. Again. "Spike, listen to me. I'll say it slowly, so you can understand." I gave her a look that dared her to continue. She did anyway. "I. Don't. Love. You. Okay? Can't you get that through your thick head?!"  
  
I angrily pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I took a drag. "You know what Slayer, you're such an idiot. This isn't about love, this is about our relationship."  
  
"We don't have a relationship!" She screamed.  
  
"Like hell we don't!" I yelled. "Whether or not you want to admit it, your fucking me!" She punched me in the nose. Why does it always have to be the bloody nose?!  
  
"Shut up," she hissed. There was a threat of violence in her voice if I continued. I went on anyway.  
  
"What's the matter, can't take it? We have a relationship Slayer, and that's a fact. You tell me you're troubles, you beat me up, and you sleep with me. And that's a fact! But it doesn't mean anything to you does it. You don't give a toss about me, or how I feel. An' don't you dare say I don't have any feeling, because we both know that's bloody bullshit!" Suddenly, I realised something. I burst out laughing. She looked at me in supprise, then her eyes narrowed.  
  
"What the hell is so funny?"  
  
"I've just realised something," I said, still laughing.  
  
"Well would you care to share the joke?"  
  
"You can't admit it can you?"  
  
"Can't admit what?!" She was shaking with rage.  
  
"You can't admit I love you. Not only that, you can't admit I have any feelings at all, because that means that every time you stake a vampire, you're not killing a monster, you're killing a person. And if you admit that, you admit I'm a person, with real feelings."  
  
I stopped and looked at her. She wasn't moving a muscle. "And then there's us," I said, softly this time. "That would mean that maybe I really do love you. And that you've been using me, abusing me, and that you've hurt me in the worst way that a person can hurt another person." I looked deep into her eyes. "And that would make you one of the monsters."  
  
We stood there in silence, the only sound the wind rustling our clothes softly. 


	5. Anger, hurt, betrayal, emotions intertwi...

A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers. I don't know if I'll make this a Spuffy or not. You'll just have to wait and see, and so will I. Sometimes stories turn out different than you intend, so I honestly don't know. It's a 50/50 chance. By the way, 'fag' is UK slang for cigarette.  
  
Godfather – Chapter Five  
  
We didn't say anything for a while; we just stood there in our old little worlds. I finished my fag and sighed. After a few seconds I lit another one, mostly just to have something to.  
  
I had to talk to her. I want so badly to tell her that I'm sorry for what I said. And I am sorry, I really am. But the sad fact is, I'm also right. "Buffy look..." I began, but a low growl cut me off. We whirled around to face a gang to nine vampires. Buffy leapt at them, stake in hand. "Bollocks," I cursed, throwing my cigarette away.  
  
I dived into the fight. I was glad they were here. I really wanted to kill something. I punched one in the face and kicked his legs out from under him. Then I pulled out a stake from my coat pocket and staked him.  
  
I turned around and saw Buffy stake one, then whirl around and drop-kicked another, quickly staking her. One of them jumped on my back. I elbowed him in the face and threw him off me. I raised a stake ready to dust him, and then I froze. A weird feeling came over me. A tugging, kind of like a call. I know this feeling.  
  
I stood up and looked around. There! Buffy has him pinned to the ground, and is a split second from dusting him. As Buffy thrust the stake down I grabbed her wrist just before the vamp became a pile of dust.  
  
"What the hell are you doing," she demanded. The other vamps started to come towards us, ready for a fight. I growled a warning and they hesitated. "What's going on," Buffy asked in confusion. I motioned for her to be quiet. She got up and folded her arms and, amazingly, she did stay quiet. Well what do you know, miracles really do happen. It's divine intervention, there's no other explanation. I turned my attention back to the vamp.  
  
"Get up," I ordered. He did, slowly. "What are you doing here?" He looked at me, then at Buffy, then back at me again.  
  
"I can't believe it," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"Answer the question," I snapped.  
  
"I just can't believe it." He went on as if he hadn't heard me. His golden eyes stared into mine. "I'd heard the story's, but I didn't believe it. I didn't believe a word of it. But it's true, isn't it." That last bit wasn't a question. "What's happened to you man?"  
  
I stiffened. "That's none of your business," I replied coldly.  
  
"Like hell it isn't!" he yelled. "You're the Slayer's fuckin' lapdog for Christ sake!"  
  
I grabbed him by the hair and lifted him off of the ground. He cried out in pain and I felt, rather than saw, Buffy jump in supprise. I expected her to say something. She didn't. My God, it really is a miracle.  
  
I turned my attention back to the bloke I was currently tormenting. I yanked his face towards me and held it an inch from mine. "Listen carefully to me boy." My voice was lower than a humans, just above a growl. "Whatever I do is none of your business. I'm still your Sire, and you will show me some respect."  
  
"Wait, did you say Sire?" Buffy asked. I sighed. Looks like she's had enough of keeping quiet. Oh well. All good things must come to an end.  
  
I let go of my Childe and he stumbled, trying to get his balance. He looked at me and he mustn't have like what he saw. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head, keeping his eyes on the floor. I looked at the remaining six vampires and growled. After a second first one, then the rest of them dropped to there knees, heads down, golden eyes on the ground.  
  
"Hey!" Buffy yelled, annoyed at being ignored. "Will somebody please explain what's going on here?" My Childe looked at her, then at me.  
  
"With my Sire's permission." The words were polite, but the tone was defiant.  
  
"I don't like your tone boy," I growled.  
  
"Spike what the hells going on? And since when do you ever call anyone 'boy'?"  
  
I whirled around angrily. "Look, do you mind? I'm kind of in the middle of something here."  
  
She glared at me. "What, you get a punch of vamps afraid of you and suddenly you're the Big Bad again?" She mocked.  
  
"I never stopped being the Big Bad!"  
  
She snorted. "You wish."  
  
I looked at my Childe and pulled out yet another fag. "Tell 'er whatever she wants to know," I mutter. Where's my bloody lighter? Ah, here it is.  
  
My Childe got up and walked up to Buffy and she tensed. I turned my attention away from them and looked at the lot on the ground. One of the birds looked up then quickly looked down again. I took in all the details about them. They were all white, all in there early twenties. Four were men, three were women.  
  
"Who are you?" Buffy's voice made up loose my attention on the vamps.  
  
"Name's Larry," my Childe said. I watched them.  
  
"And Spike's your Sire."  
  
Larry nodded. "Yeah."  
  
Neither one liked talking to the other, a two-year-old could see that. "So when did he turn you?" She made the question sound casual, but I knew it wasn't. She was checking to see if it was recent. See if my chip had stopped working.  
  
"'Bout seventeen years ago."  
  
"Oh." That oh carried both relief and disappointment. I knew a small part...maybe a bigger part than I'll admit...of her wanted my chip to stop working. Then she could kill me and get on with her life. I tried really hard not to think about that.  
  
"Enough talk." That was all it took. My Childe came towards me and dropped to his knees again in the same position as before. I offered him my hand and he slowly took it and brought it towards his face. He turned my wrist towards him then hesitated, looking up at me. I nodded, letting him know I meant it. He licked my wrist then bit down on it, sinking his fangs down into my vein. He drunk my blood slowly, cautiously, asking for my forgiveness.  
  
Through the bond we share as Sire and Childe I let him know that it was all right, that I understood. Reassured, he began sucking frantically, desperately. It re-strengthened a bond between us that no human could understand, a bond of blood and magic that needed no words. Our body and demonic spirits merged until we were just one being, one body, and one mind. It went deeper than sex, deeper than love. I am his Sire. My blood, my power, my immortality created him, powers him, runs through his veins. It's an eternal marriage of life through death. To him, I am life. For this eternal moment, we are one.  
  
"What the hell do you think your doing?!" Buffy yelled. "Stop it!"  
  
I ignored her. We both did. Suddenly I felt a pain that tore through my entire body, like I was being ripped apart. My eyes snapped open and I saw Buffy with a stake pressed to my Childe's heart.  
  
I couldn't think. All I felt was rage. He's mine. MINE!!!!! MINE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH!!!! MINE TO LOVE!!!!!! MINE TO KILL!!!!!! MINE!!!!!!!  
  
I grabbed Buffy and threw her away. Without thinking I grabbed Larry and bit into his neck, drinking his blood. He's mine!  
  
What brought me back to reality was Buffy's pain filled cry. I ran to her and dropped to my knees. "Buffy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I couldn't think, all I felt was rage. I'm sorry I'm so sorry!"  
  
I tried to touch her, to beg her to forgive me. "Don't touch me," she hissed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I...I didn't mean to...Buffy please," I begged.  
  
I went to touch her again, but the look she gave me was enough to stop me. It was filled with anger, hurt, and...betrayal? She looked betrayed. What does this mean? "Well I guess now I know how much your 'love' for me is worth." Her voice was filled with sarcasm, loathing and even hate when she said love. And there is was again. Betrayal. What the hell does this mean?!  
  
"Well at least you got me back for the alley thing," she said quietly. She started to get up and stumbled. Without thinking I reached out to steady her. When I touched her she went still. She took a deep breath. "Get off me Spike." Her voice was cold and empty, and it hurt me more that anything has ever hurt me before. I took my hands off of her and took a step back.  
  
She took a shaking breath and stood up. Her eyes swept over Larry and the others. With a shock I realised I'd forgotten they were even here. Larry was sitting on the ground, and I could tell that he was disorientated. Without looking at me Buffy walked by them. I want to look at her but I'm too ashamed. I wait till she's gone then I look at Larry and the others, who are still kneeling. I sighed. Things have just got very complicated. 


	6. Out Of My Mind

A/N: Special thanks to Ragemoon, sammy-mackie, Harry2, Cordelia-lolly, and buffspike. It means so much to me that you've stuck with me and keep coming back to this story. Thank you SO much!  
  
Godfather – Chapter Six  
  
"Larry." He looked at me, squinting. I sighed. Looks like I drank too much from him. I looked at the vamps on the floor. "Take 'im to my crypt."  
  
One of the blokes looked up. "Um..."  
  
"What?" I growled.  
  
He ducked his head down in submission. "I was just...well..."  
  
"Spit it out," I snapped, irritated.  
  
"We don't know where you live."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "How long have you been a vampire mate?"  
  
He looked up causiouly. "Um...just over three years," he said nervously.  
  
I walked through the group up to him. "What's your name?"  
  
"Ralph."  
  
"Stand up Ralph."  
  
He did and I looked him over. He was about 6'1, he had light brown hair cut short, black jeans and a dark brown button up cotton shirt, an old black leather jacket and pair of black shoes that had seen better days. His cloths were tight and it wasn't hard to see that he had muscles. Looks like he went to a gym a lot before he got turned.  
  
"You've been a vampire for three years did you say, Ralph?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah."  
  
I looked at him for a second. Then I punched him in the face, knocking him down to the floor.  
  
Him looked up at me, eyes filled with fear. "Three years," I said softly. "Three bloody years, and you don't even know how to track someone by scent."  
  
"I do!" He protested.  
  
"THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT???!!!!!" I roared. "IDIOT!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I began beating him mercilessly. All my pent up anger and frustration that had been building up over the last few years came pouring out of me. I just exploded. And as I hit Ralph, and as him screams and cries of terror and pain tore from his throat, I want's in Sunnydale anymore.  
  
Suddenly I'm a child and the school bullies are beating me up.  
  
Then I'm crying at my father's funeral, and my mother is at my side, weeping.  
  
I'm fourteen and I'm going on my first date. I greet her and she kisses me, and suddenly all the children from school come running around the corner with eggs and rotten fruit. I find out later that the children had begged the girl to kiss me, so they could taunt me. A cruel joke. That was my first kiss. I cry myself to sleep that night, and many nights after.  
  
I'm nineteen years old, and my big brother has been murdered in an alley.  
  
I'm twenty-seven and Celidy has just told me that I'm beneath her.  
  
I'm forty-two and Angelus, in his jealousy of mine and Dru's relationship, and is torturing me because of it. We were best friends before this. I feel so betrayed. I cry and he laughs at me, and I curse myself for my weakness.  
  
I'm fifty-one and Darla is dripping holy water on me. She's screaming that it's fault. If I hadn't killed the gypsy mans' family, her Childe wouldn't have a soul.  
  
I'm sixty-three and Darla has left me and Dru to fend for ourselves. She's gone to America to rejoin her Sire, my great great gransire, The Master. Dru blames me.  
  
I'm seventy-nine and I walk in on Dru in the middle of her having sex with a ghojik demon. She laughs at my pain. I just stand there.  
  
I'm eighty-five and Dru is torturing a woman in front of me. A human woman. I developed feelings for her, and this is my punishment. She's begging me to save her. I can't.  
  
The images speed up. Flashes of my life, human and vampire, so fast that I can't even see them, but I FEEL them. Pain, humiliation, fear...  
  
Suddenly they slow down and I see Buffy. Everything she's ever put me through, the good and the bad. Then I'm in that damn alley and she's beating me.  
  
Then the images stop. And I'm beating Ralph. I stop and look at him. He's lying there in a pool of his own blood. I can see broken bones. He's whimpering. Barley conscious. What have I done?  
  
A/N: Hey, sorry I took so long updating. I hope everyone likes this chapter. I feel I should explain my reasons for doing it. Spike comes across as being a confident, arrogant bastard for most part, but every now and then you see he's insecure about a lot of things. I think he hides a lot from emotions that he might not be able to handle, and I think for the past few decades he's repressed them. I just kind of get the feeling that for most part, he lives in denial.  
  
This relationship with Buffy would, from what I know of Spike, have a lot of psychological impacts. Having him lose it like this would also signify a lot of different issues that would make an impact when he's forced to adopt his godson William. (Don't worry, he will soon) 


	7. A Master Again

A/N: Thanks to all of the reviewers! I'm SSSSSSSOOOOOOO SSSSSOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSOOOO SSSSSSSSSOOOOOO SSSSSSOOOOOO sorry. I've had the worst writer's block EVER! I can't apologise enough. I just want to assure you that I'm not giving up on this fic. I WILL continue until its finished. Sorry again!  
  
Godfather – Chapter Seven  
  
I tear my eyes away from Ralph. 'What the hell just happened?!' I look at Larry. He's still disorientated. I look at the vampires on the floor. They all stink of fear. Two are actually shaking. I take a breath and try to calm my nerves. It doesn't work. Shit. All I want to do is run after Buffy, but I know I can't. I care about Larry, and I can sense that the vampires on the ground are all his children. Double shit!  
  
I address the vamps. "Hears how it works. Larry here," I nod towards Larry who is still on the ground, "Is your Sire. I know, I can feel it. Now as you know by now, I'm his Sire, your Grandsire. That makes me the boss. You do what I say, when I say. I say jump, you say how high."  
  
I wait a moment to let the words sink in. "You've probably already heard of me. My name's William The Bloody. I'm also known as the Scourge Of Europe. I've killed two slayers in my time. But nowadays I go by Spike. I got the name because I'm known to make a habit of driving railroad spikes through peoples' skulls." I pull out yet another fag an' light it. Good thing vampires can't get lung cancer. "I've done this to humans', vampires', demons', everything you can think of. You cross me, I'll shove one in yours." I stop again to make sure they understand.  
  
"I just want you to remember one thing: you're vampires. I shove a spike in your skulls, you won't die the first time around. Or the second. Or the third. Or the fourth. And so on." I stop and smirk at the terror coming off of them. "Okay, now do any of you have any questions?" 


	8. Laying Down The Law

I looked at the vampires on the floor. "Get up." They got up slowly, still keeping their eyes on the ground. "Pick up Larry and Ralph and follow me." I spun around and started walking, not bothering to check they'd do what I said. I knew they would. Terrorising a bunch of fledglings is fun and all, but be honest I'm really not in the mood. Suddenly I realise my mistake. I'd got pissed at Ralph because I thought he couldn't track by scent. Vampires don't have scents, I know that. What I meant was he should follow Buffy's. It's obvious we're…whatever the bloody hell we are, any idiot could figure that out after our little episode a few minutes ago, but advising it for anyone or anything to hear really isn't a good idea. Well actually it doesn't really matter, it's no secret in the demon world we're fucking, but…bloody hell, I'm not even making sense.

I stalked through the graveyards and side streets, and eventually we got to my graveyard. I got to my crypt and turned around. The vamps trailed up. "This is it," I told them. "Home. You'll all stay here for now. There's a small cooler in the corner. None of you are allowed to touch it. There's a trunk in the other corner. That's off limits too. Lastly, there's also an old black and white TV. Unless I'm using it, you lot are free to watch anything you like. There's a lower level with a bed. Put Larry and Ralph onto it, then come and see me. We're all going to have a little talk about the rules."

I opened the door and walked in, throwing myself onto the beat up old chair. The vamps came in. The vamps holding Larry and Ralph made there way down to the lower level, and the others just stood there, looking for all the world like puppy's expecting to get kicked. I lit up a fag again. "Make yourselves at home," I said. "After all, we're family." They all found places to go, some sitting on the floor, a few perched on the sarcophagus, and two others leaned agenised the wall, all of the looking nervous. Soon after the ones who were carrying Larry and Ralph came back up, looked around and sat on the floor. I took a deep drag on the cig, and then tapped it, watching the ash fall.

"Okay, first things first. No one's allowed to kill any humans."

"Hey, wait a minute!" One of the women protested. I snapped my head around and growled, vamping.

"Any of you disobey me, I'll personally hand you over to the Slayer. After I've had my fun, of course." I changed my face back to human and took another drag of my fag, blowing the smoke out and watching it hover in the air. "Second, keep away from the Slayer. She finds you, it's your funeral. Third, there's some human's who are close to the Slayer. I'll show you them later. You see them in trouble, help them out. Questions?"

"Why the fuck have we godda play guardian angel to a bunch of loser humans? Especially if they're in with the Slayer."

"Because they're in with the Slayer, moron. The boy, his name's Harris, isn't really worth bothering about, but if the others feel they owe you, they'll feel like they have to help convince the Slayer not to stake you."

"Why can't we kill any humans?"

"For the same reason."

"Yeah but…"

"That's it!" I snapped. I got up and walked over to the door. "I'm going out. You lot stay here." I walked out without waiting for a reply. It felt good to be in charge again.

A/N: God, it's been ages since I've written anything for this. Nearly 6 months, bloody hell! Well, I did say I'd finish it. I don't know if any old reviewers are still looking out for updates, but if any are, sorry it's been so long.


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